A portent of things to come…

I don’t quite have the motivation to commit to it right now, but there are a number of topics I would dearly love to confabulate about so I figured I would catalogue them here (primarily for my benefit when trying to remember what it was I wanted to blab on about):

  • The trivialisation of trans existence *
  • Behind every trans woman, there’s a trans man getting no recognition for their struggles *
  • Being Bisexual, not “Bi Now, Gay Later” *
  • The problem of American Racism / contrasted with the problem of Irish Racism
  • Forays into Polyamory and Poly meets Online Dating
  • #FreeSafeLegal Abortion In Ireland *
  • Immunisation
  • ProAm Pornography (a response to #HotGirlsWanted) *
  • Same-sex Marriage

* (as discussed by a white cis male)

So, look forward to hearing me faff on about these topics and more in the near future.

Peace, dj357

Some Pressing Thoughts

*** DISCLAIMER: This one’s going to be a bit rambly ***

It’s funny, or in this case perpetually infuriating, how I go through these phases of not caring/not having enough time to post and/or rant and/or blog and/or vlog. This blog hadn’t seen any love in 2 years, my YouTube channel hasn’t seen much activity in the last 10 months, and even that slowly moved from gaming videos to vlogs/rants that only lasted 4 episodes before I gave up.

This perpetual state of ping-ponging (granted it’s over a matter of many months) between this project or that project is endemic to my nature but it is, as I said, thoroughly infuriating. Infuriating, in large part, because I can be in the middle of one thing and suddenly a wild and inspiring thought will occur to me that pulls me off in a different direction and I’m off on another wild goose chase that results in, you guessed it: No Goose. This is why I tried to start a Games Development company that went nowhere, because I had lots of ideas for games that went nowhere because I never finished them. This is why I have lots of in-progress (read: some sketchy notes and some half-arsed dialogue) stories/novels that I would love to work on that I have never finished. Although that last is due to my waning inspiration. My writing, whether it’s prose or poetry or music or lyrics is another very much phase-oriented thing whereby I was able to write a whole album of songs years ago, a whole book of (angsty, terrible) poetry years ago, write the music and lyrics for 2 different EPs for my now defunct metal band and begin world building and short story writing for a large fantasy novel series I’ve had in the works for years – all with very long bouts of intervening time devoid of any kind of inspiration or motivation. It’s like I wax and wane like the moon between a content consumption phase and a content creation phase.

My recent post baring my soul and my particular thoughts and interests caught a certain important somebody very off guard (primarily because I was a total idiot in terms of how that was handled) but in any event those are all things that are still very much at the forefront of my mind. I’ve spent a lot of time on Twitter recently (another phase I go through), in part due to that certain important someone reviving my latent civic pride (for want of a better phrase) and reminding me of the then upcoming referendum on same-sex marriage in Ireland. To that end I have been following my many different civil rights passions through the medium of Twitter, sharing important calls to action, cool and progressive news stories and all manner of content whether simply interesting or directly related to one of my many civil rights passions. I’ll get to those passions in a later post as I want to talk through those various items in respect to how far we’ve come and how much further we still have to go etc… (you get the picture)

Anyway, that’s enough self-aggrandising via the medium of self-deprecation. Talk to you all next time!

Just Like Riding A Bicycle

Hello people of the interwebz! I have decided that in order to get my creative writing juices flowing again (more on that shortly) it would be a good idea to return to the world of blogging as I always found it a great way to get words and thoughts out of my head and onto the page, which is part of my major writing block at present.

So, there are a few things I want to say in my first post after 2 years of silence.

  • I’m bisexual. Can’t remember if I ever spoke about that here before (and I’m far too lazy to check!) However I have only ever had hetero relationships thus far so it’s still a side of myself that I have yet to fully explore.
  • I’ve been feeling like I’m poly for quite some time (it never made sense to me that one could only love one person at a time) and recently I have found that poly is something I really want to explore.
  • I am currently in a hetero relationship. It’s only 2 months in, we haven’t discussed the poly thing yet and we haven’t discussed exclusivity so I’m doing the ethical thing and assuming exclusivity until my primary partner tells me otherwise.
  • I have a particular attraction to trans women. I anonymously discussed this with another blogger a few years ago (SexyTofu, who is dormant since Feb this year and whose post on me appears missing)

Given my attraction to trans women and being bisexual, I wonder if I would be better off identifying as “pansexual”…?

In any event, I look forward to writing more and hopefully I will have something to say that interests but, FAIR WARNING: I’m now using this blog for my own benefit, not for readership as it was never something I had a lot of and is no longer a focus of mine. I have a lot of creative writing that I want to get finished and I am hoping that blogging will help me do that.

That being said, I would love any feedback from readers on anything I post whether they’re queries, disagreements or practically anything other than spam.

So, thanks for your time and I’ll talk to you next time!

Peace, dj357

(p.s. thanks to @sharmander_says for putting the idea of returning to blogging in my head)

The Tension Pt.4 [Short Story]

The tension was disturbing. Initially Joseph had thought he might be having a heart attack or maybe he was getting winded so quickly because of the joint he had tried last weekend with his girlfriend but when it didn’t get worse and he didn’t, as he feared, collapse and fall off his bike, he kept pedaling along the street. Weaving in and out of the stationary traffic, his headphones blaring some Bon Jovi-esque rock ballad from the 90s, it wasn’t until he passed through the second set of traffic lights that he realised the traffic was at a stand-still in all directions and most pedestrians were standing around on the sidewalk simply staring around in bewilderment. He slowed to a stop and dismounted his bike beside a father and son who were holding hands and staring into space. The bike toppled over as he removed his headphones to try to talk to them.

Prudence watched the bike clatter to the ground beside the bike messenger from the lone window in her corner of the office. She had gotten up to head to the bathroom but the vacant stares and the lack of response from the other office staff had disturbed her enough that she banished herself back to her cubicle. She was awkward enough in normal social situations but when people around her started acting strangely she simply bolted. Her curiosity had been piqued though and after a minute or two of hiding she slowly made her way to the window to look upon the world at large. Her social anxiety and awkwardness meant she viewed the world as a hotspot of lunacy anyway but what she saw outside made her far more anxious and scared than she had ever known.

The Tension Pt.3 [Short Story]

Marcus shivered and rolled his shoulders as he felt the tension in the air crawling along his spine. He had just walked out of the bathroom, the noise of the plumbing and the flushing water mingling with the chatter and background noise in the basement his gang called their home and all of a sudden he had felt anxiety rise inside his chest and the shivers and tingles started crawling up his back.

Joey and Lupe, the bathroom resting in their line of sight, glanced up as Marcus entered the room again and they shivered and shifted in their chairs as they watched Marcus’ reaction. Joey bolted out of his chair, the chair clattering to the ground behind him, attracting the attention of everyone else in the basement space, and, his hand jumping reflexively to his sidearm in its holster, he turned slowly to inspect the basement to find the source of the deep anxiety he felt washing over him.

Perspiration beaded Winston’s face as he moved up the stairs at Marcus’ direction. He fidgeted nervously with bulge of his handgun beneath the leather of his jacket. He wanted to rip it out of its holster and feel the reassuring weight of it in his hand, but the door led out onto the street and he couldn’t simply run outside waving a gun. He undid the different locks and latches on the door and wiped away some of the sweat on his forehead with the cuff of his jacket before pulling the door open slowly and peeking outside.

The Tension Pt.2 [Short Story]

The tension was palpable at street level. Luis stood behind the counter of his mid-town delicatessen half listening to the customer whose latte he was preparing and half staring out the large plate glass window of his store front. He kept looking for something, anything that might explain the anxious feeling that had the hairs on the back of his neck bristling with anticipation.

Noelle and her daughter Lucy sat across the street under a parasol that shaded them from the bright midday sun. A pleasant heat permeated the air but it was the tension that stalled their conversation and had them fidgeting idly with their cutlery and the straws in their lunchtime cocktails. The planned conversation, one that had been brewing between them for many days in the wake of other events in their personal lives, was abandoned as their combined anxiety weighed heavily upon them.

John stood at the crosswalk and stared somewhat open-mouthed and dumbfounded as he watched the traffic lights follow their normal pattern of green to amber to red and back to green while the assembled driver on both junctions merely sat idling in their vehicles. He spotted movement on the other side of the street and his gaze followed the movement as it resolved into a shaggy looking mutt who calmly trotted along the street, weaving through the few people who were likewise staring about in confusion. The dog continued up to the corner and promptly disappeared from John’s view as he continued on his way.

The Tension Pt.1 [Short Story]

There was tension in the air. Everyone in the office could feel it, but no one could put their finger on what it was. Joel kept peeking his head above the wall of his cubicle looking for danger like a Prairie Dog keeping watch. Margaret kept clearing her throat nervously and Lucile kept tapping her pen against the desk. Periodically she would realise she was doing it and stop, only to start up again moments later.

Prudence on the other hand had her headphones in as she typed, the latest record from her favourite punk rock band playing for the sixth time that morning. She might eventually get sick of hearing it but she was basking in the joy of that feeling of new found love for a piece of music. It was this focus on the music and her work as a website designer, combined with the tucked-away nature of her cubicle, that meant she was completely oblivious both to the atmosphere of the office and the events slowly unfolding around her.

In the corner office on the far-side of the main work floor, raised voices could be heard. Mark rose nervously and shuffled his way towards the water cooler, an obvious excuse to get closer to the source of the sound and potentially divine some of the conversation. He pulled a cup and filled it from the refrigerated tap and simply stood there, plastic cup in hand, while very obviously trying to appear as if he was not straining to hear what was going on in the corner office.

Joel’s head popped up above his cubicle once again and upon seeing Mark standing around he too rose and went to the water cooler. He whispered conspiratorially to Mark who jumped halfway out of his skin in fright, so intent was he upon the muffled sounds making their way through the layers of sheet rock and timber, spilling some water on his shirt in the process. Mark’s face immediately went from lightly flushed pink to something a few shades off Fire Engine Red as he was flooded with anger and embarrassment.